Hello Uncle Foreigner

Nov 21, 2017

“Well, that happened, and that was weird”

Ten weeks in a Chinese hospital

Peter in his wheelchair in the park
The wild man lookFresh as a daisy after a haircut
Left: Peter tools around the park in his new wheelchair.
Right: In the hospital (top) Peter preferred the wild man look. He told me that trimming a beard was a man’s prerogative — when I offered to do it for him. These days, he’s going for a more civilized style (bottom) after a trim at the salon.

Early-August, we had big plans. A website relaunch, video premieres, a podcast, a vacation. And then … Peter’s back started hurting, more than usual. And then, he couldn’t walk. And then, he lost his mind.

Don’t worry, he’s on the mend now. And the hallucinations were only temporary. Years of hard living and not eating enough will take a toll on a body and the brain. Which is how we found out that the doctors at the Luzhou Medical College hospital are fantastic. And ten weeks in LMC hospital is … a lot.

Here’s what you might find in your Chinese hospital room: It’s always loud, and visiting hours are always. You’ve got more roommates than it feels like should be in one room, but at least you weren’t given one of the hallway beds. One of your roommates moans so loudly in his sleep that the other of your roommates — the one with a prosthetic leg — will just up and leave in the middle of the night. The medical care is fine, but orderly service is not included in the price of your bed, so some relatives choose to schelp their own patient’s full bedpan to the bathroom. (Not me. I paid for the help.) Also, you need to provide your own tissues, soap, towels, a basin for washing, and food. There’s no heat or air conditioning because we live south of the Yangtze River. But they will provide blankets. And one pillow.

They sent him home on October 23, and these days we go to outpatient physical therapy three times a week. Peter can do most things for himself, except for walking. But he’s close. Tomorrow, he’s going to try the parallel bars to hold himself up while he gets those legs back in shape, and after that, he’ll get to shuffle down the PT ward’s hallway. It’ll be another month or two, according to Dr. Yu. And then we’ll be back to your irregularly scheduled Uncle Foreigner.